Intelligent?
By Design
Zillions of years ago the intelligent designer was sipping a strawberry daiquiri by her kidney shaped swimming pool when that same pesky piece of dust that has bothered her for years once again landed in one of her many eyes. Damn you, she said as she flicked it out toward one of the light globes nearby. I am cursing you with, …uh, I know, “life!”
Time went by and she decided to check on life’s progress on the piece of dust. Very disappointing, most of it was stuck under water. Waving her magic wand, she said “Some of you get out of the water and onto the hard part and make something of yourselves.”
A million years or so later, she checks and finds the land critters have progressed quite nicely. Some are walking about on their hind quarters. All the various animals are quite happy living off the vegetation that the designer provided. But wait- this is hardly entertaining! I hereby decree that at least half the critters be carnivores. That should provide some sport.
Inspection a few millennia later finds some of the more advanced things have formed into tribes and help each other out and share and share alike in the bounty of the land. That’s got to stop. Simple enough, I add jealousy, envy, and greed into the picture. “Hey pal, look at the nice stream your neighbor has running thru his area – wouldn’t you like to have that?” “And check out his woman! Whoo ha ha!”
Let the fun begin!
The entertainment value of this piece of dust has improved dramatically on the next visit as scores of warriors are slaughtering one another because they each believe they own the “truth” about the designer. Their numbers are still increasing nonetheless. Time for some more fun to be added to the mix. How about pestilence, famine and the plague. That ought to slow them down. Maybe a few incurable excruciatingly painful diseases as a lagniappe.
On her last visit the designer sees that the critters have almost developed to the point of being able to extinguish themselves thru ever new and more powerful inventive weapons of mass destruction. Well, perhaps she has seen enough and will be merciful and flick the piece of dust into the lighted ball of fire it has been circling.
Now, if YOU were omniscient and omnipotent isn’t that the way you would have gone about designing your piece of dust? No? Not enough pain and misery for you?
Then you can go to hell, that’s where the REAL action is.
Benediction: Dear Designer, thank you for the many fine diseases and the aberrant minds that cause the critters to slaughter one another in your name, but, especially for the recent natural disasters that only you can wreak upon us: the tsunamis, earthquakes and hurricanes which have brought so many innocent children to a horrific untimely death. Pax vobiscum. Amen.
Zillions of years ago the intelligent designer was sipping a strawberry daiquiri by her kidney shaped swimming pool when that same pesky piece of dust that has bothered her for years once again landed in one of her many eyes. Damn you, she said as she flicked it out toward one of the light globes nearby. I am cursing you with, …uh, I know, “life!”
Time went by and she decided to check on life’s progress on the piece of dust. Very disappointing, most of it was stuck under water. Waving her magic wand, she said “Some of you get out of the water and onto the hard part and make something of yourselves.”
A million years or so later, she checks and finds the land critters have progressed quite nicely. Some are walking about on their hind quarters. All the various animals are quite happy living off the vegetation that the designer provided. But wait- this is hardly entertaining! I hereby decree that at least half the critters be carnivores. That should provide some sport.
Inspection a few millennia later finds some of the more advanced things have formed into tribes and help each other out and share and share alike in the bounty of the land. That’s got to stop. Simple enough, I add jealousy, envy, and greed into the picture. “Hey pal, look at the nice stream your neighbor has running thru his area – wouldn’t you like to have that?” “And check out his woman! Whoo ha ha!”
Let the fun begin!
The entertainment value of this piece of dust has improved dramatically on the next visit as scores of warriors are slaughtering one another because they each believe they own the “truth” about the designer. Their numbers are still increasing nonetheless. Time for some more fun to be added to the mix. How about pestilence, famine and the plague. That ought to slow them down. Maybe a few incurable excruciatingly painful diseases as a lagniappe.
On her last visit the designer sees that the critters have almost developed to the point of being able to extinguish themselves thru ever new and more powerful inventive weapons of mass destruction. Well, perhaps she has seen enough and will be merciful and flick the piece of dust into the lighted ball of fire it has been circling.
Now, if YOU were omniscient and omnipotent isn’t that the way you would have gone about designing your piece of dust? No? Not enough pain and misery for you?
Then you can go to hell, that’s where the REAL action is.
Benediction: Dear Designer, thank you for the many fine diseases and the aberrant minds that cause the critters to slaughter one another in your name, but, especially for the recent natural disasters that only you can wreak upon us: the tsunamis, earthquakes and hurricanes which have brought so many innocent children to a horrific untimely death. Pax vobiscum. Amen.
posted by revsnodgrass | 4:12 PM
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