Scofflaw

Guilty

From time to time, the Gummint passes laws and regulations that are oppressive to the general citizenry. One such pain in the ass is the annual “safety” and “emission” inspection required of car owners. I would be very interested in the study which shows the reduction of accidents and improvement in air quality as a result of this farce.
As an avid fan of this system I have often let my “sticker” expire before getting it updated. There is no penalty for lateness unless you get caught by the eagle eye of the law driving with an oldie. In February 2004 I went to “Sticker Stop” to renew my decal. It was then I discovered that regulations differ for cars based on age with the years 1995 and 1996 being the breaking point. (for what reason I know not)
I have a 1996 Nissan. The kind mechanic asked me is I was sure it was a ’96. I think so ,why? He pointed to a sticker inside my door frame that said it was manufactured in 11/95! Gasp! Had I been ripped off?– or what? I was told that my car would fail the emissions test if it was a ’96 but would pass if it was a ’95. Suddenly, my dismay about owning a car one year older than I thought melted away, and I confessed that it was a ’95 indeed. My sticker was applied and away I went.
Merrily I rolled along until the middle of September 2005 (yes, my sticker expired in February) when an officer of the law with nothing better to do was spying for scofflaws. I paid my fine ($126) by mail a week before my trial date and in trepidation of another ticket waited for a new inspection until the first of October to gain a month on the sticker.
I went to get a new sticker. Two minutes into the work the inspector told me the left front tire was faulty and unsafe and the car would not pass inspection. (crap!)
OK, gimme the keys and of I go to Discount Tire Co, to get it replaced. No problem there, other than a two hour wait. Back to Sticker Stop. One minute into the work I am asked who did the inspection last year? Your Company. “This is a ’96, not a ’95 and it will not pass inspection because the “check engine” light is on. "(It has been on for about 2 years) “Hah!”, says I, “look at this inside the door -11-95!” Pish-posh, or similar words, cars made in the last three months of the year are next year’s cars! (shit!) I was directed around the corner to an auto repair shop that would take “care” of me. There, I was told that for $45 they would do an analysis and then be able to tell me what was wrong and how much it would take to fix it. Aloha. I had had enough for one day and decided to try “something” the next day. Perhaps another station would be more sympathetic to my plight.
Alas, it was not to be. They were, unfortunately, all law abiding citizens and knew the difference between a ’95 and ’96 car. I was screwed.
Today, I am living outside the law, one step away from another hurtful citation.
I slink around the back streets hoping to avoid the ever vigilant eyes of our protectors of the peace. Shhhhhhhh…

PS. Two days after I wrote this I got a call from the court house asking why I missed my court date. My check was supposedly lost in the mail and I had to appear today with a replacement or have a warrant issued for my arrest. God Bless America.