The Great Unwashed
Swine
ACBL Unit 174 Recorder:
Dear M, I looked in the by-laws for the Unit but couldn't find a description of the "Recorder's" duties. I am assuming that, if nothing else, reports of behavior unbecoming to a member of the Unit may be reported and if sufficient occurrences of this behavior happen, a warning or other means of censure would be forthcoming from the Board.
I have heard rumors that Otto Barf has accosted men in the restrooms and chastised them if it appeared they were leaving without washing their hands. Most of the people I know considered this to be a joke.
However, last Wednesday at the finish of the morning game at JCC Otto was playing "Potty Police" and as I zoomed out of the restroom I heard a grating screech "Hey Rev, you forgot something!" Ignoring his plea, I left (unwashed). Yesterday he caught up with me in the bridge entry buying line and says "Gentlemen wash their hands after using the rest room." "No, gentlemen don't pee on their hands" was my witty repartee. He upped the ante with a tiny "You're a pig. " I responded quietly, "You're an asshole." "PIG!" "ASSHOLE!" Before we could put the matter to a vote by the assembly, the director ordered Barf to take it outside. As he did his crab-crawl walk he kept mumbling under his breath... "pig...pig...pig" A fine example from a member of Phi Beta Kappa.
While I applaud his Susan B. Anthony concern for pub(l)ic hygiene, I believe that his feeble attempts at public humiliation go beyond the bounds of acceptable behavior. I am sorry if his mother taught him that touching that "thing" would bring about some kind of plague if your hands were not scrubbed immediately thereafter.
I recommend that the board suggest he keep his duties as Potty Police in or near the restrooms. Perhaps he could stand outside the door and distribute "Handi-wipes" to those who may have forgotten Mommy's warning.
Sincerely,
Rev Snodgrass
One of the Great Unwashed
I'm working on a new product for men to carry in their wallets, maybe in a little foil container. It will be called Forget Acceptable Restroom Behavior? A little towelette, perhaps with a PBK insignia to remind one of what true gentlemen find important.
ACBL Unit 174 Recorder:
Dear M, I looked in the by-laws for the Unit but couldn't find a description of the "Recorder's" duties. I am assuming that, if nothing else, reports of behavior unbecoming to a member of the Unit may be reported and if sufficient occurrences of this behavior happen, a warning or other means of censure would be forthcoming from the Board.
I have heard rumors that Otto Barf has accosted men in the restrooms and chastised them if it appeared they were leaving without washing their hands. Most of the people I know considered this to be a joke.
However, last Wednesday at the finish of the morning game at JCC Otto was playing "Potty Police" and as I zoomed out of the restroom I heard a grating screech "Hey Rev, you forgot something!" Ignoring his plea, I left (unwashed). Yesterday he caught up with me in the bridge entry buying line and says "Gentlemen wash their hands after using the rest room." "No, gentlemen don't pee on their hands" was my witty repartee. He upped the ante with a tiny "You're a pig. " I responded quietly, "You're an asshole." "PIG!" "ASSHOLE!" Before we could put the matter to a vote by the assembly, the director ordered Barf to take it outside. As he did his crab-crawl walk he kept mumbling under his breath... "pig...pig...pig" A fine example from a member of Phi Beta Kappa.
While I applaud his Susan B. Anthony concern for pub(l)ic hygiene, I believe that his feeble attempts at public humiliation go beyond the bounds of acceptable behavior. I am sorry if his mother taught him that touching that "thing" would bring about some kind of plague if your hands were not scrubbed immediately thereafter.
I recommend that the board suggest he keep his duties as Potty Police in or near the restrooms. Perhaps he could stand outside the door and distribute "Handi-wipes" to those who may have forgotten Mommy's warning.
Sincerely,
Rev Snodgrass
One of the Great Unwashed
I'm working on a new product for men to carry in their wallets, maybe in a little foil container. It will be called Forget Acceptable Restroom Behavior? A little towelette, perhaps with a PBK insignia to remind one of what true gentlemen find important.
posted by revsnodgrass | 3:31 PM
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