Czech this out
“Im Himmel gibt's kein Bier” -Czech drinking song
(In heaven there is no beer.)Just one more reason, along with the endless hymns and hosannas, to count me out.
Beer first appeared, perhaps in Egypt, some 5000 years ago. People have been tweaking it ever since. When will it end? My personal relationship with beer began a few years before I was of legal drinking age. I was the tallest of my gang of high school hoodlums so I was elected to try to look aged and try to score a six pack at a liquor store. We would ride around and try different places, being rebuffed a few times and then – the owner was more interested in making a buck than messing with drivers permits and such, and we got our prize, a six pack of Rolling Rock Pony bottles, 8 full ounces each, right from the mountain springs in Latrobe, PA.
As a child groom, I had been married for almost 2 years before I could legally buy beer. Back in the ‘60s in Baltimore imported beer was a rarity. We had “Arrow”, “Gunther”, and “National Bohemian.” Premium beer came from far away cities, “Schlitz”, “Budweiser”, “Carling.” Special occasions called for going all the way and buying a case of “Lowenbrau” brewed in Germany. The “Miller Brewing Co,” made an enemy of me forever when they “bought” the Lowenbrau recipe and name and began mixing it in the U.S.A. The original from Germany was banned from import as part of the deal. That prohibition expired in 2002 and once again “real” Lowenbrau is available for we connoisseurs. Not too long after that travesty, once again I believe the culprit was “Miller”, an abomination appeared on the same shelves as beer, calling itself “Lite!” For the love of God, people, if you want to have less calories and save money just buy regular beer and add another 12 ounces of water!
There apparently are no boundaries that are too far fetched for the marketing departments of brewmeisters. Hey folks! Look at us! We have “Dry” beer! Oh, but wait!, now we have “Ice” beer! “Draft” beer in a can! Since marketeers are familiar with the fact that the public are idiots, they invent cute names, like “Red Dog”, for a product they hope will sell based on the name only and create subsidiary companies to package it so you won’t know it’s really just another “Miller” beer in disguise.
Moving ahead to the early ‘90s, I became enamored of Austrialia’s “Foster’s Lager” sold in 23 ounce “oil cans” as they were called. Some months later I noticed the quantity was now 22 ounces. Upon closer inspection of the can I discovered it was “Brewed in Canada!” It was the beginning of another marketing sham. Today I looked at a package of Sapporo Beer, proudly proclaiming itself to be Japan’s oldest brewery with red letters “imported beer” From where? Canada. Asahi – Canada. Kirin – Canada. Eh?
And finally, the unkindest cut of all, some despicable low ranking marketeer in a brewery has convinced their superiors that they can “pull a ‘Maxwell House*’” and decrease the amount of beer in a regular looking bottle and no one will know the difference! Yes, it is disclosed in the fine print that each bottle contains 11.2 ounces of beer as opposed to the forever and ever standard of 12 ounces. Two brands are “Stella Artois” from Belgium and “Carlsberg” from Denmark. Nowhere does it shout “New, improved, less beer for your hard earned money!” I don’t know who is more culpable, the idiot that came up with this idea or the managers who approved it. Heat up the tar, pluck the chickens and prepare the rail for riding them all out of town.
“Drum trinken wir es hier” (That’s why we drink it here.)
*Remember when coffee always came in a one pound can? Maxwell reduced the amount of coffee by an ounce or 2 without changing the size of the can. I checked today and the one pound can now contains 11.5 ounces. God Bless America.
(In heaven there is no beer.)Just one more reason, along with the endless hymns and hosannas, to count me out.
Beer first appeared, perhaps in Egypt, some 5000 years ago. People have been tweaking it ever since. When will it end? My personal relationship with beer began a few years before I was of legal drinking age. I was the tallest of my gang of high school hoodlums so I was elected to try to look aged and try to score a six pack at a liquor store. We would ride around and try different places, being rebuffed a few times and then – the owner was more interested in making a buck than messing with drivers permits and such, and we got our prize, a six pack of Rolling Rock Pony bottles, 8 full ounces each, right from the mountain springs in Latrobe, PA.
As a child groom, I had been married for almost 2 years before I could legally buy beer. Back in the ‘60s in Baltimore imported beer was a rarity. We had “Arrow”, “Gunther”, and “National Bohemian.” Premium beer came from far away cities, “Schlitz”, “Budweiser”, “Carling.” Special occasions called for going all the way and buying a case of “Lowenbrau” brewed in Germany. The “Miller Brewing Co,” made an enemy of me forever when they “bought” the Lowenbrau recipe and name and began mixing it in the U.S.A. The original from Germany was banned from import as part of the deal. That prohibition expired in 2002 and once again “real” Lowenbrau is available for we connoisseurs. Not too long after that travesty, once again I believe the culprit was “Miller”, an abomination appeared on the same shelves as beer, calling itself “Lite!” For the love of God, people, if you want to have less calories and save money just buy regular beer and add another 12 ounces of water!
There apparently are no boundaries that are too far fetched for the marketing departments of brewmeisters. Hey folks! Look at us! We have “Dry” beer! Oh, but wait!, now we have “Ice” beer! “Draft” beer in a can! Since marketeers are familiar with the fact that the public are idiots, they invent cute names, like “Red Dog”, for a product they hope will sell based on the name only and create subsidiary companies to package it so you won’t know it’s really just another “Miller” beer in disguise.
Moving ahead to the early ‘90s, I became enamored of Austrialia’s “Foster’s Lager” sold in 23 ounce “oil cans” as they were called. Some months later I noticed the quantity was now 22 ounces. Upon closer inspection of the can I discovered it was “Brewed in Canada!” It was the beginning of another marketing sham. Today I looked at a package of Sapporo Beer, proudly proclaiming itself to be Japan’s oldest brewery with red letters “imported beer” From where? Canada. Asahi – Canada. Kirin – Canada. Eh?
And finally, the unkindest cut of all, some despicable low ranking marketeer in a brewery has convinced their superiors that they can “pull a ‘Maxwell House*’” and decrease the amount of beer in a regular looking bottle and no one will know the difference! Yes, it is disclosed in the fine print that each bottle contains 11.2 ounces of beer as opposed to the forever and ever standard of 12 ounces. Two brands are “Stella Artois” from Belgium and “Carlsberg” from Denmark. Nowhere does it shout “New, improved, less beer for your hard earned money!” I don’t know who is more culpable, the idiot that came up with this idea or the managers who approved it. Heat up the tar, pluck the chickens and prepare the rail for riding them all out of town.
“Drum trinken wir es hier” (That’s why we drink it here.)
*Remember when coffee always came in a one pound can? Maxwell reduced the amount of coffee by an ounce or 2 without changing the size of the can. I checked today and the one pound can now contains 11.5 ounces. God Bless America.
posted by revsnodgrass | 8:01 PM
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