FARTY! FARTY!
Hunger pains
From time to time, some of the congregation get together for a little card playing.
These events are usually given some name to distinguish one from another. Some of the parishioners expressed concern over what they perceived to be a lack of food for the “FARTY”(Forgotten Achievers Receive Thank You), thus a response was sent to all:
Fear of Famine hits Fartygoers
The presently proposed foodstuffs for the Farty have struck some attendees as lacking in sustenance. An Ad Hoc investigating committee has been appointed to look into this matter. Thus far they have reported that the catering department assures them that if each individual attendee brings a sufficient amount of their contribution to satisfy the hunger of one person then 8 X 1 = 8 / 8 =1 Voila! It is a mathematical certainty that all will be well fed! But wait!, we who live by the “rule of restricted choice” have been fooled before. Therefore, The Committee has some additional suggestions if you feel your needs will not be satisfied by the present menu,
Pre 6:00 PM. Go directly from Pech Rd after the game ends to either Wun Hung Lows all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet and fill-er-up or Rudy’s bar and drink yourself into a state where food is no longer of interest.
At 6:00 The food serving area will be cordoned off and a starters pistol will signal “go” on a handicap schedule. Persons under 100 Lbs will have a 5 minute head start, BAM (gunshot), next the 100 – 150 Lb group, POW, another 5 minutes and all those up to 200Lbs may attack the table. Click, click (out of bullets) if there’s anything left, you fat bastards have at it.
6:30 PM Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches go on sale at $2.50 each, bottled water $1.00
Approx 7:00, Let the Games begin! There have been suggestions that perhaps a “pot” of $ be collected for use as prize money to those whose performance merits.
$1 or 2 per person. So, stop by the ATM so you don’t get caught short (keep in mind how many PB&Js you may need to get you thru)
From time to time, some of the congregation get together for a little card playing.
These events are usually given some name to distinguish one from another. Some of the parishioners expressed concern over what they perceived to be a lack of food for the “FARTY”(Forgotten Achievers Receive Thank You), thus a response was sent to all:
Fear of Famine hits Fartygoers
The presently proposed foodstuffs for the Farty have struck some attendees as lacking in sustenance. An Ad Hoc investigating committee has been appointed to look into this matter. Thus far they have reported that the catering department assures them that if each individual attendee brings a sufficient amount of their contribution to satisfy the hunger of one person then 8 X 1 = 8 / 8 =1 Voila! It is a mathematical certainty that all will be well fed! But wait!, we who live by the “rule of restricted choice” have been fooled before. Therefore, The Committee has some additional suggestions if you feel your needs will not be satisfied by the present menu,
Pre 6:00 PM. Go directly from Pech Rd after the game ends to either Wun Hung Lows all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet and fill-er-up or Rudy’s bar and drink yourself into a state where food is no longer of interest.
At 6:00 The food serving area will be cordoned off and a starters pistol will signal “go” on a handicap schedule. Persons under 100 Lbs will have a 5 minute head start, BAM (gunshot), next the 100 – 150 Lb group, POW, another 5 minutes and all those up to 200Lbs may attack the table. Click, click (out of bullets) if there’s anything left, you fat bastards have at it.
6:30 PM Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches go on sale at $2.50 each, bottled water $1.00
Approx 7:00, Let the Games begin! There have been suggestions that perhaps a “pot” of $ be collected for use as prize money to those whose performance merits.
$1 or 2 per person. So, stop by the ATM so you don’t get caught short (keep in mind how many PB&Js you may need to get you thru)
posted by revsnodgrass | 6:36 AM
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